can you feel the love tonight?

woke up at 1045 and realized we weren’t going to church this morning. I got on and off update texts from him all morning and I waited for myself to get up and shower…instead of getting up, I reply to “status updates” on facebook through my wi-fi on my phone and put on “public enemies”. Cannot get over how Mr. Depp is in the movie. I was by myself til the last 30 mins of the movie, my whole family woke up. My sisters surrounded me and made fun of me for watching the movie one too many times. I disagreed and said I have only seen it 4 times …maybe more.

Today is valentines day, again I am without him physically but always in my heart. I decided not to call him today. He texted around 5pm that his phone was dying and I just replied, “me too. Be safe and enjoy your time there.” His reply? “I love you so much” He assured me this morning that we will go to Louisiana together in the future. There I felt okay and I look forward to that trip.

This is the first year I didn’t scramble to buy little cute valentines cards or email e-cards or send texts in bulk. I didn’t receive any flowers or chocolates, but the sterling-silver tiffany’s necklace from Daniel a few days before. He wished I got it on the actual day but the delivery service was too excellent they sent it in advance! I did receive cheesy fb e-hearts and 2-5 vday texts. Those are always very sweet, of course.

My dad wanted to use my car to take us to church tonight. Mom said the inside of my car looked like my room and dad showed me where to place my navigator, on the left lower corner of my shield. Back to sun valley, we were at grace and greeted by our favorite usher. He is always very kind and sweet to my family. Through all the years, no one seems to notice who we are except this gentleman. The reason could be that it is, a community church? Singing songs of praise, my difficulty to see the words on the screen 100 ft from me, Hannah hands me a song book and tells me the page of the hymn. And mom always tries to out-sing the person singing behind or in front of her. Well, at least she can sing. Then I just try to harmonize a different tune than what others usually sing. Next we were asked to greet someone we’ve never met. Yes, uncomfortable and awkward always but I just walk up to 1-2 persons and introduce myself with a handshake. I never seem to remember their names. Tonight’s sermon was on the virtue, “Faith”. Salvation is by faith and not by works. I’ve heard it before but MacArthur teaches in a way you didn’t think it could be taught and uses various passages in the Bible for a better understanding.

We were without Mariedet and Crystal, so we met after at, of course, no other than, Thai BBQ, for dinner. Mariedet and I sat across each other and realized we always eat at Thai for most of our special occasions. I’ve had dinner there for my 19th, my high school graduation, college graduation and had catering for my 23rd this year. Etc. My sister had her boyfriend at dinner with us. He brought flowers for mom and her. I asked “where are my flowers?” Of course, I was joking. The food soon arrived and I had about 3 servings of chicken noodles and 2 of shrimp fried rice. During dinner, I still was tryin to accept why 16 year olds are the way they are and how someone can have a boyfriend who lives so close to you and that my mother and mariedet had so much knowledge about professional basketball. Mariedet and I couldn’t stop talking about tattoos all this week and are preparing to have some done soon. I was having a bad hair day, for it was very flat and felt heavy on my head. We left the restaurant satisfied and separated in 3 cars. Kissed mom and went with Mariedet. Movies were what we craved for and...starbucks. Second cup this week. She has got me hooked. After a staggering 30 minutes in blockbuster, I had one movie in hand “fear and loathing in las vegas” and frustration in my head from not finding any more movies I wanted. Mariedet picked up Julie and Julia, 500 days of Summer and He’s Just Not that Into You. Out of the 3, I only agreed to watch Julie and Julia, which we watched when we got home. I added this one to “my favorite movies”. The movie is brilliant and Meryl Streep is always ever so heart-warming.

I wondered where he was in New Orleans tonight and what he was doing and I also missed him. I couldn’t wait to hear his voice again. I hope to hear from him in the morning and all the happenings of yesterday’s (today’s) events.

Today is just a reminder to love and be loved. Good to be loved.