Over the past 2 weeks, ive been having bad dreams about my relationship. For example it were always dreams that he was running away from me, or just plain ol ignoring me! It was total opposite of what him and i have been going through so im not sure what it all means. I woke up in my new ikea comforter but still felt disatisfied for i didnt have a new mattress. I had some left-over papa johns pizza for breakfast and garlic dipping sauce. Great way to start the day. I received a message asking if my job had any am jobs. i clearly said no and that if they did, id take it! i work evenings and wished sometimes i work mornings.:(
Today at work, one of my patients requested for a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich and after receiving it, i received a warm thank you for it. He was stoked. We also have this new patient who has mental retardation, he wont stop smiling! he is just so sweet and always makes me smile. Our hospice nurse was in today and we always talk about the happenings in our lives, the future, school, nursing. She always motivates and inspires me to get back in school. I also found out that 4 employees from our facility were "let go". We were searching for 4 persons who have been writin to the state and whoever runs Los Angeles hospital facilities stating false things about our company, forging signatures and everything! They said whoever wrote the letters sounded very "un-educated". TRUST NO ONE!
When i got home, My mother walked out of her room. I havent seen her in a while, but seeing her tonight, she looked radiant and ever so beautiful. Made me smile.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
monday monday monday
Dad was home today. mom was still away on her trip to vegas with my cousins and aunt. I hung out with mariedet most of the day. We drove around blasting "jens mixcd". We had to stop by costco for a few things. the man working at the optometry center looked like he hated his job as "eyeglass cleaner", but everyone else who worked there were very helpful and nice. Driving today was interesting. Lots of geriatrics on the road today, on purpose to annoy me? I mentioned to my sister how "photo enforced" lights just terrify me and everytime i know ones comin up, i turn on the street before it just to get around the damn thing! but i am getting better with driving, mergin.
decided to pass on the midnight showing for alice in wonderland. if you ever plan to see a 12 movie at burbank, dont. kids sneak into the theater all the time. you arent guaranteed a seat when you buy your tickets in advance anywho. go somewhere else.
we were feelin hungry so we stopped at cheesecake factory. We had a very nice waiter, Darryl was his name. He was full of jokes, including one he added to my charity question about the red velvet cake $1 donation. I ordered an appetizer of crispy artichokes for the first time and found it to be a revelation. i thought to myself while eating, "i dont dserve this..." my mouth watered like crazy! Darryl soon brought our check and a giant pen. THis guy...full of jokes. Did we tip well? sure thing.
Pit stop at kitson, grabbed a "shopper bag" before the store closed and watched the awkward song with lyrics "its not unusual to be loved by you" water show the Americana provided for guests, tourists, annoyed employees and residents who hear it 100 times a day. My sisters and i danced like carlton and applauded after. Yesss, free parking.
Had to stop by target to get some scented stuff. A gift for a patient of mine. To give her room a little more..something and picked up a copy of Glamour that only told me, "if a guy doesnt laugh at your jokes, dont marry him".
Later at home, i attempted to organize and install my new light fixtures which made such a difference in my room. Thank you Ikea.
It was a long day...
decided to pass on the midnight showing for alice in wonderland. if you ever plan to see a 12 movie at burbank, dont. kids sneak into the theater all the time. you arent guaranteed a seat when you buy your tickets in advance anywho. go somewhere else.
we were feelin hungry so we stopped at cheesecake factory. We had a very nice waiter, Darryl was his name. He was full of jokes, including one he added to my charity question about the red velvet cake $1 donation. I ordered an appetizer of crispy artichokes for the first time and found it to be a revelation. i thought to myself while eating, "i dont dserve this..." my mouth watered like crazy! Darryl soon brought our check and a giant pen. THis guy...full of jokes. Did we tip well? sure thing.
Pit stop at kitson, grabbed a "shopper bag" before the store closed and watched the awkward song with lyrics "its not unusual to be loved by you" water show the Americana provided for guests, tourists, annoyed employees and residents who hear it 100 times a day. My sisters and i danced like carlton and applauded after. Yesss, free parking.
Had to stop by target to get some scented stuff. A gift for a patient of mine. To give her room a little more..something and picked up a copy of Glamour that only told me, "if a guy doesnt laugh at your jokes, dont marry him".
Later at home, i attempted to organize and install my new light fixtures which made such a difference in my room. Thank you Ikea.
It was a long day...
Saturday, February 20, 2010
darling ruth
After last night's conversation about visiting another state, spending spring break somewhere else other than there, i decided to visit where he is living now. I told him to "keep you company".
The hair dying process should start this coming week. Im always in the need of change with my hair. I get bored after a month or week even. I just look at it as, you'll never know, until you try it. I like natural, but a change of hair style can say alot about the person, personality and style wise :) and of course i do this for my own amusement.
tattoo? wednesday im hoping.
All this talk about Tiger Woods and his affairs, the movie's i embraced that had infidelity, including the movie i am seeing now "john and mary".. why do people say "life is short have an affair"? who are these people that say such things and what kind of person are they? i asked why because i dont have hint of it in me to have an "affair" with anyone. Im amused by seeing the "cheater" get caught on Cheaters but at the same time digusted and have a sick feeling in my stomach thinking if that would ever happen to me. Insecurity is all i kind think of as one of the roots of being a cheater. There are alot of other reasons i can think of.
The hair dying process should start this coming week. Im always in the need of change with my hair. I get bored after a month or week even. I just look at it as, you'll never know, until you try it. I like natural, but a change of hair style can say alot about the person, personality and style wise :) and of course i do this for my own amusement.
tattoo? wednesday im hoping.
All this talk about Tiger Woods and his affairs, the movie's i embraced that had infidelity, including the movie i am seeing now "john and mary".. why do people say "life is short have an affair"? who are these people that say such things and what kind of person are they? i asked why because i dont have hint of it in me to have an "affair" with anyone. Im amused by seeing the "cheater" get caught on Cheaters but at the same time digusted and have a sick feeling in my stomach thinking if that would ever happen to me. Insecurity is all i kind think of as one of the roots of being a cheater. There are alot of other reasons i can think of.
Friday, February 19, 2010
as the stress builds up...
its hard for me to...think of things straight. So, today i didnt do a whole lot of thinking. Don Juan came inthe mail today, sa-tis-fied. So did my refund check. STOKED. And the tattoo could be done for free!
i found an old mix cd that consisted of songs from Inside Out, Have heart, Lifetime, Mars VOlta, Shook Ones, Murs, Nas, NFG...Meg & Dia? sure thing. I made it 2 years ago.
Lakers lost by 1 tonight to the Celtics. Still looking forward to my first Laker game next Sunday.
Finally got my Andrew Bird music back. The violins in "plasticities" always gives me the chills and brings me back to my most happiest moments. It's hard to explain. First time i heard Andrew Bird, the first thing i said was " story of my life."
and..blank i go.
i found an old mix cd that consisted of songs from Inside Out, Have heart, Lifetime, Mars VOlta, Shook Ones, Murs, Nas, NFG...Meg & Dia? sure thing. I made it 2 years ago.
Lakers lost by 1 tonight to the Celtics. Still looking forward to my first Laker game next Sunday.
Finally got my Andrew Bird music back. The violins in "plasticities" always gives me the chills and brings me back to my most happiest moments. It's hard to explain. First time i heard Andrew Bird, the first thing i said was " story of my life."
and..blank i go.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
run down but motivated.
I woke up feeling opposite of how I felt the morning before. On my day off? Yes, Indeed. My body aching, tired from…what? Sleeping 7 hours? It’s the bed. I figured. I can’t afford a $600-$800 bed right now. It’s going to take some saving here and there. Then soon enough, I will feel like I am on clouds!
I’m not sure about today. I kind of hated today? I just didn’t feel healthy at all.
I realized how good yogurt was
I finally had chicken madeiran from cheesecake factory
And a red velvet cheesecake to top it off.
2 slices of pizza, one for breakfast and one for lunch
A strawberry lemonade
…could it be the food?
I sleep at 3am every night but wake up after 7, 8 hours and still feel…bleh.
It could be stress?
I run around a hospital 4 times a week, 6-7 hours a day. That rounds up my exercise.
Let’s just say, It could be a little of everything, including the fact that, my bed sucks.
I am making a trip to SD on Sunday with my two good friends, Jen and Jesse. It will be the start of their tour. BL that is. I just ordered the record so I will be somewhat surprised with their new stuff Sunday. Last I saw this band was at s & f
09. Which i refuse to go this year, unless there is an.."extravagant" line-up and of course, better venue. We aint going back to Oxnard, i can tell you that much.
I’ve bumped into this old classmate of mine 2-3x already and we still haven’t said hi to one another. Why is that?
I’m still fighting a cold. Not sneezing as much, so I am getting better. And my eye isn’t itchy anymore.
the tattoo should be getting done next week or week after. i got to do what i say!
I need to get on a plane and head out somewhere soon. I’m shooting for April. I can’t wait. Traveling is great. I wished I could do more of it. I can tell you, I can make that wish come true. Watch me rise.
I’m not sure about today. I kind of hated today? I just didn’t feel healthy at all.
I realized how good yogurt was
I finally had chicken madeiran from cheesecake factory
And a red velvet cheesecake to top it off.
2 slices of pizza, one for breakfast and one for lunch
A strawberry lemonade
…could it be the food?
I sleep at 3am every night but wake up after 7, 8 hours and still feel…bleh.
It could be stress?
I run around a hospital 4 times a week, 6-7 hours a day. That rounds up my exercise.
Let’s just say, It could be a little of everything, including the fact that, my bed sucks.
I am making a trip to SD on Sunday with my two good friends, Jen and Jesse. It will be the start of their tour. BL that is. I just ordered the record so I will be somewhat surprised with their new stuff Sunday. Last I saw this band was at s & f
09. Which i refuse to go this year, unless there is an.."extravagant" line-up and of course, better venue. We aint going back to Oxnard, i can tell you that much.
I’ve bumped into this old classmate of mine 2-3x already and we still haven’t said hi to one another. Why is that?
I’m still fighting a cold. Not sneezing as much, so I am getting better. And my eye isn’t itchy anymore.
the tattoo should be getting done next week or week after. i got to do what i say!
I need to get on a plane and head out somewhere soon. I’m shooting for April. I can’t wait. Traveling is great. I wished I could do more of it. I can tell you, I can make that wish come true. Watch me rise.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
fat tuesday
My A.M. phonecall wasn't so pleasant today. It consisted of a problem and confrontation. Was it resolved? No. Problems can't be solved the moment its made.
My older sister suggested the movie "He's just not that into you" this morning, which I only saw a portrayal of different girls with pathetic personalities, displaying weaknesses no girl should have. I never liked the idea of the movie and seeing it made me hate it more. A man did direct the movie...It had comments about marriage and why some people dont believe in marriage. It's the sign of the times but doesn't change my view on it. I still believe it the way i always have. It's the right thing to do and I will teach my children the same.
I felt incredibly healthy today, i felt very happy on my way to work. I was over-joyed about future events, people in my life, adn the music playing. I was stoked on life.
Every week at work, i get faster and faster and find more time to do my job better. My inspiration to get back "in the books" is always increasing. School isnt forever! To have an education is a great thing!
One of my patients has this crush on me and always gives me little gifts. Today, he handed me a Dr. Pepper, he tried explaining it in Spanish that he is giving it to me. He knows very little english and always laughs at himself when he realizes that i dont speak spanish and then breaks into some broken english. He's a little cute mexican man with glasses on. Then before he went to sleep, he offered me 2 apples. And said "i love you too much". I just replied "gracias, gracias, gracias" haha.
My boss asked me how my trip to big bear went while i photocopied some papers. The trip was about 2 weeks ago but it was nice of her to ask. She asked if i knew how to snowboard and i just told her no and i didnt attempt to try when i went and people die doin that stuff. Well people die doin alot of stuff but..eh you know what i mean.
I told her we took a bunch of pics and that's pretty much it. True story.
My itchy right-eye didnt bother me as much today but my make-up has been. My foundation is beginning to bug me on how it looks on my skin. Maybe because I am aging? Covergirl doesnt work well for me anymore, so im going to have to spend a little more to fix that. My first choice would be MAC. I always avoided this place because of the prices but i know if i want better, this would be the place to start. -$$$
Dad handed me a duplicate of the house key last night, because i lost my own copy months before. Turns out i find it today under my table. Now i have 2 keys.
I was the same way going back home from work. I had forgotten my glasses again but I was still stoked on life! I am off tomorrow and will be spending most of it with mariedet.
*achoo* sniff, sniff
now, let me finish watching "the parent trap" with a young lindsay lohan playing twins in the film... yes, a guilty pleasure. i have lots of those...
My older sister suggested the movie "He's just not that into you" this morning, which I only saw a portrayal of different girls with pathetic personalities, displaying weaknesses no girl should have. I never liked the idea of the movie and seeing it made me hate it more. A man did direct the movie...It had comments about marriage and why some people dont believe in marriage. It's the sign of the times but doesn't change my view on it. I still believe it the way i always have. It's the right thing to do and I will teach my children the same.
I felt incredibly healthy today, i felt very happy on my way to work. I was over-joyed about future events, people in my life, adn the music playing. I was stoked on life.
Every week at work, i get faster and faster and find more time to do my job better. My inspiration to get back "in the books" is always increasing. School isnt forever! To have an education is a great thing!
One of my patients has this crush on me and always gives me little gifts. Today, he handed me a Dr. Pepper, he tried explaining it in Spanish that he is giving it to me. He knows very little english and always laughs at himself when he realizes that i dont speak spanish and then breaks into some broken english. He's a little cute mexican man with glasses on. Then before he went to sleep, he offered me 2 apples. And said "i love you too much". I just replied "gracias, gracias, gracias" haha.
My boss asked me how my trip to big bear went while i photocopied some papers. The trip was about 2 weeks ago but it was nice of her to ask. She asked if i knew how to snowboard and i just told her no and i didnt attempt to try when i went and people die doin that stuff. Well people die doin alot of stuff but..eh you know what i mean.
I told her we took a bunch of pics and that's pretty much it. True story.
My itchy right-eye didnt bother me as much today but my make-up has been. My foundation is beginning to bug me on how it looks on my skin. Maybe because I am aging? Covergirl doesnt work well for me anymore, so im going to have to spend a little more to fix that. My first choice would be MAC. I always avoided this place because of the prices but i know if i want better, this would be the place to start. -$$$
Dad handed me a duplicate of the house key last night, because i lost my own copy months before. Turns out i find it today under my table. Now i have 2 keys.
I was the same way going back home from work. I had forgotten my glasses again but I was still stoked on life! I am off tomorrow and will be spending most of it with mariedet.
*achoo* sniff, sniff
now, let me finish watching "the parent trap" with a young lindsay lohan playing twins in the film... yes, a guilty pleasure. i have lots of those...
Monday, February 15, 2010
excuses
I woke up thankful to be alive this morning but felt a bad feelin about the rest of the day. I have a never-ending itch in my right eye. Tryin to figure out what it is but can't seem to make it out. I get up itchy-eyed and put "fear and loathing.." on and adjust my attention span to "movie-mode". Soon I remembered both my younger two sisters were off today, president's day. Which meant we were all suppose to go out later today. I left the movie playing while doing my laundry only to find when I come back from laundry that the movie was turned off and changed to a television show I am not so fond of. dad was also off today and what does dad do on his day off? He not only eats and relaxes but cleans my car and hannah's as well. Did I ask him? No. And this is not the first time. He asked "10 dollars please?"
Still I haven't heard from him. I wondered what was up...
The plan was get ready, leave and catch the movie at 210p. We did so and didn't leave til 210...turns out a lot go to the movies on holidays and people still wanna see avatar once, or two more times. Sorry Batman. Hannah and I have already seen Valentines Day for it's screening but it was mariedet and crystals first time. We got there and were forced to sit separately, two by two. Hannah and crystal on one side and mariedet and I on the far left. All sittin in the front row. It was a full house. We missed the previews and first 20 mins but they still enjoyed the movie. It is a feel good movie and perfect for the v-day hater. Added to my list of favorite movies.
Papa johns was our craving so we headed there to eat. 2 lrg pizzas, one with bacon and the other with pineapples for the veggie and veggie wannabe's. can't forget the garlic dipping sauce.
I got to finish the interrupted movie once I got home. He is dreamy even when bald...or maybe its just his voice this time that got me? Not sure. Drug-use is never flattering, but it amused me to see him "under the influence". My obsession is on a high. I did more "depp" research as the night progressed while watchin the olympics. We chanted "usa! usa! Usa!" I boo'd canada but then remembered I did carry a canada key chain with my car keys. For dallas green that is. I like celin dion too...*my hands get tired from typin on my BB*
lack on communication today. Travelin to another state is not an acception to fail on communicating.
But of course I will get over it, if not, ill sleep it off.
Goodnite
Still I haven't heard from him. I wondered what was up...
The plan was get ready, leave and catch the movie at 210p. We did so and didn't leave til 210...turns out a lot go to the movies on holidays and people still wanna see avatar once, or two more times. Sorry Batman. Hannah and I have already seen Valentines Day for it's screening but it was mariedet and crystals first time. We got there and were forced to sit separately, two by two. Hannah and crystal on one side and mariedet and I on the far left. All sittin in the front row. It was a full house. We missed the previews and first 20 mins but they still enjoyed the movie. It is a feel good movie and perfect for the v-day hater. Added to my list of favorite movies.
Papa johns was our craving so we headed there to eat. 2 lrg pizzas, one with bacon and the other with pineapples for the veggie and veggie wannabe's. can't forget the garlic dipping sauce.
I got to finish the interrupted movie once I got home. He is dreamy even when bald...or maybe its just his voice this time that got me? Not sure. Drug-use is never flattering, but it amused me to see him "under the influence". My obsession is on a high. I did more "depp" research as the night progressed while watchin the olympics. We chanted "usa! usa! Usa!" I boo'd canada but then remembered I did carry a canada key chain with my car keys. For dallas green that is. I like celin dion too...*my hands get tired from typin on my BB*
lack on communication today. Travelin to another state is not an acception to fail on communicating.
But of course I will get over it, if not, ill sleep it off.
Goodnite
Sunday, February 14, 2010
can you feel the love tonight?
woke up at 1045 and realized we weren’t going to church this morning. I got on and off update texts from him all morning and I waited for myself to get up and shower…instead of getting up, I reply to “status updates” on facebook through my wi-fi on my phone and put on “public enemies”. Cannot get over how Mr. Depp is in the movie. I was by myself til the last 30 mins of the movie, my whole family woke up. My sisters surrounded me and made fun of me for watching the movie one too many times. I disagreed and said I have only seen it 4 times …maybe more.
Today is valentines day, again I am without him physically but always in my heart. I decided not to call him today. He texted around 5pm that his phone was dying and I just replied, “me too. Be safe and enjoy your time there.” His reply? “I love you so much” He assured me this morning that we will go to Louisiana together in the future. There I felt okay and I look forward to that trip.
This is the first year I didn’t scramble to buy little cute valentines cards or email e-cards or send texts in bulk. I didn’t receive any flowers or chocolates, but the sterling-silver tiffany’s necklace from Daniel a few days before. He wished I got it on the actual day but the delivery service was too excellent they sent it in advance! I did receive cheesy fb e-hearts and 2-5 vday texts. Those are always very sweet, of course.
My dad wanted to use my car to take us to church tonight. Mom said the inside of my car looked like my room and dad showed me where to place my navigator, on the left lower corner of my shield. Back to sun valley, we were at grace and greeted by our favorite usher. He is always very kind and sweet to my family. Through all the years, no one seems to notice who we are except this gentleman. The reason could be that it is, a community church? Singing songs of praise, my difficulty to see the words on the screen 100 ft from me, Hannah hands me a song book and tells me the page of the hymn. And mom always tries to out-sing the person singing behind or in front of her. Well, at least she can sing. Then I just try to harmonize a different tune than what others usually sing. Next we were asked to greet someone we’ve never met. Yes, uncomfortable and awkward always but I just walk up to 1-2 persons and introduce myself with a handshake. I never seem to remember their names. Tonight’s sermon was on the virtue, “Faith”. Salvation is by faith and not by works. I’ve heard it before but MacArthur teaches in a way you didn’t think it could be taught and uses various passages in the Bible for a better understanding.
We were without Mariedet and Crystal, so we met after at, of course, no other than, Thai BBQ, for dinner. Mariedet and I sat across each other and realized we always eat at Thai for most of our special occasions. I’ve had dinner there for my 19th, my high school graduation, college graduation and had catering for my 23rd this year. Etc. My sister had her boyfriend at dinner with us. He brought flowers for mom and her. I asked “where are my flowers?” Of course, I was joking. The food soon arrived and I had about 3 servings of chicken noodles and 2 of shrimp fried rice. During dinner, I still was tryin to accept why 16 year olds are the way they are and how someone can have a boyfriend who lives so close to you and that my mother and mariedet had so much knowledge about professional basketball. Mariedet and I couldn’t stop talking about tattoos all this week and are preparing to have some done soon. I was having a bad hair day, for it was very flat and felt heavy on my head. We left the restaurant satisfied and separated in 3 cars. Kissed mom and went with Mariedet. Movies were what we craved for and...starbucks. Second cup this week. She has got me hooked. After a staggering 30 minutes in blockbuster, I had one movie in hand “fear and loathing in las vegas” and frustration in my head from not finding any more movies I wanted. Mariedet picked up Julie and Julia, 500 days of Summer and He’s Just Not that Into You. Out of the 3, I only agreed to watch Julie and Julia, which we watched when we got home. I added this one to “my favorite movies”. The movie is brilliant and Meryl Streep is always ever so heart-warming.
I wondered where he was in New Orleans tonight and what he was doing and I also missed him. I couldn’t wait to hear his voice again. I hope to hear from him in the morning and all the happenings of yesterday’s (today’s) events.
Today is just a reminder to love and be loved. Good to be loved.
Today is valentines day, again I am without him physically but always in my heart. I decided not to call him today. He texted around 5pm that his phone was dying and I just replied, “me too. Be safe and enjoy your time there.” His reply? “I love you so much” He assured me this morning that we will go to Louisiana together in the future. There I felt okay and I look forward to that trip.
This is the first year I didn’t scramble to buy little cute valentines cards or email e-cards or send texts in bulk. I didn’t receive any flowers or chocolates, but the sterling-silver tiffany’s necklace from Daniel a few days before. He wished I got it on the actual day but the delivery service was too excellent they sent it in advance! I did receive cheesy fb e-hearts and 2-5 vday texts. Those are always very sweet, of course.
My dad wanted to use my car to take us to church tonight. Mom said the inside of my car looked like my room and dad showed me where to place my navigator, on the left lower corner of my shield. Back to sun valley, we were at grace and greeted by our favorite usher. He is always very kind and sweet to my family. Through all the years, no one seems to notice who we are except this gentleman. The reason could be that it is, a community church? Singing songs of praise, my difficulty to see the words on the screen 100 ft from me, Hannah hands me a song book and tells me the page of the hymn. And mom always tries to out-sing the person singing behind or in front of her. Well, at least she can sing. Then I just try to harmonize a different tune than what others usually sing. Next we were asked to greet someone we’ve never met. Yes, uncomfortable and awkward always but I just walk up to 1-2 persons and introduce myself with a handshake. I never seem to remember their names. Tonight’s sermon was on the virtue, “Faith”. Salvation is by faith and not by works. I’ve heard it before but MacArthur teaches in a way you didn’t think it could be taught and uses various passages in the Bible for a better understanding.
We were without Mariedet and Crystal, so we met after at, of course, no other than, Thai BBQ, for dinner. Mariedet and I sat across each other and realized we always eat at Thai for most of our special occasions. I’ve had dinner there for my 19th, my high school graduation, college graduation and had catering for my 23rd this year. Etc. My sister had her boyfriend at dinner with us. He brought flowers for mom and her. I asked “where are my flowers?” Of course, I was joking. The food soon arrived and I had about 3 servings of chicken noodles and 2 of shrimp fried rice. During dinner, I still was tryin to accept why 16 year olds are the way they are and how someone can have a boyfriend who lives so close to you and that my mother and mariedet had so much knowledge about professional basketball. Mariedet and I couldn’t stop talking about tattoos all this week and are preparing to have some done soon. I was having a bad hair day, for it was very flat and felt heavy on my head. We left the restaurant satisfied and separated in 3 cars. Kissed mom and went with Mariedet. Movies were what we craved for and...starbucks. Second cup this week. She has got me hooked. After a staggering 30 minutes in blockbuster, I had one movie in hand “fear and loathing in las vegas” and frustration in my head from not finding any more movies I wanted. Mariedet picked up Julie and Julia, 500 days of Summer and He’s Just Not that Into You. Out of the 3, I only agreed to watch Julie and Julia, which we watched when we got home. I added this one to “my favorite movies”. The movie is brilliant and Meryl Streep is always ever so heart-warming.
I wondered where he was in New Orleans tonight and what he was doing and I also missed him. I couldn’t wait to hear his voice again. I hope to hear from him in the morning and all the happenings of yesterday’s (today’s) events.
Today is just a reminder to love and be loved. Good to be loved.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
onto saturday
I was up ‘til 3am, trying to figure out how to finish a small v-day card for my parents. Yes, I still make cards for my parents, ever since I took art classes in elementary, every v-day, mother’s day, fathers day, etc I made a card for them. There my creativity was noticed and thoughtfulness as well.
My phone has been dying since 5pm and I haven’t had an urge to charge it. Let me start over again…
So 3am was the time I finished the v-day card. My printer wasn’t working tonight or this morning you can say so I wrote out the poem onto the paper of pictures of myself and sisters. I also had to make a call to wake up my boyfriend. He had to get up to leave to the airport for his short trip to New Orleans, Louisiana. The ceremony that is. I wanted to be there to support and congratulate him, but he said that he wanted me more at his graduation ceremony in December than this one. The call was short, I asked if he was excited and that I was excited for him. Shortly after I fell asleep and
My phone has been dying since 5pm and I haven’t had an urge to charge it. Let me start over again…
So 3am was the time I finished the v-day card. My printer wasn’t working tonight or this morning you can say so I wrote out the poem onto the paper of pictures of myself and sisters. I also had to make a call to wake up my boyfriend. He had to get up to leave to the airport for his short trip to New Orleans, Louisiana. The ceremony that is. I wanted to be there to support and congratulate him, but he said that he wanted me more at his graduation ceremony in December than this one. The call was short, I asked if he was excited and that I was excited for him. Shortly after I fell asleep and
Friday, February 12, 2010
all-nighter
started my morning coughing, sneezing, sniffing away, blowing my nose. i woke up to a phonecall at 5am. It is my bf. We dared to make conversation. Our early morning conversations are usually very good. we are rested and not tired from a long day. so i enjoyed my am convos with him. I didnt feel up for the events of the night. I was indecisive for i had work til 1130pm. i later changed my mind and decided to challenge myself to an "all-nighter". The plan was to get ready, pack my bags, stop by AA, straight to work then to orange county, onto Heds or Tails bar and go back to Westminister for the rest of the night. Before i headed out the door, dad surprised me with a black widow spider he had found in the front yard inside a "glad" plastic container. Yes, i was digusted and amazed how big + creepy the little fella looked up close. At the same time i received a text saying a package was sent and returned for the wrong address was written on it. I corrected him and that was that. I've been waiting for the package since Fall 2009. Ive attempted to cancel the order but because of troubles in this "distro" business, i was outta luck. i was in for a wait. Soon enought I left to Old Town Paseo, the outdoor mall that consisted of stores like Tiffany's, the headquarters of Forever 21 and restaurants like Cheesecake Fantasy and Kubuki,etc. I rushed and ran in to a parking lot i usually use, only to find "lot full". I drive around the corner onto a one-way street. *hate those* annoyed by passengers and soon enough find metered-parking. There i perfected my parallel parking and for some reason put in 24 mins worth of coins. Crossed 3streets and power-walked through an alley, passing Tiffany's on the corner, H&M, the Apple Store, to my destination. Walked in towards my purchase, traded my shiny gold belt that was unnecessary in my wardrobe, -$8 from my checking account. I walk out in less than 5 minutes. did the same going back to my car. "charming man" on blast..i was back to work. i dreaded work today and was exhausted from the "power-walk" and my brain hurt from the thought of too much of today's happenings. My sister texted me sayin she had received her tax refund and had already spent a great deal on things she says she "needed" not "wanted". Wondering why the heater is always on blast at work this winter, i fanned myself and time went by so slow. 1130 hit. Told jen i was on my way. Mom wasnt stoked about this but she soon enough got over it. I go there in 40 mins. 70-75 miles/hr. Jen and i took some time getting ready. It turned out "alice in wonderland"(tomtom) was going to lead us taking streets the whole way. 25mins, we were there.
Little did we know what was going to happen there. A guido walked up to jen and i before we even got in and asked where we were from. "la and oc" we answered and he escorted us in. Got quite a stare down, not sure if it was just because her and i had dresses on or because everyone was drunk and horny? not sure. "you girls look very beautiful tonight? are you sisters? twins?"..."what ethnicity are you?? filipino? i love filipinos!" "you girls have boyfriends?" it just didnt end. some snookie wannabes and guidos here and there. including one of our good friends which was most of jen and my amusment. We missed the photoshoot but caught cupid in his cute outfit. big ups to him. Last call happened 25mins into being there, fist-pumping started getting heavy and serious. I had a jd and coke and jen kept it classy with vodka, two that is. Short but sweet we described our party experience that night. part 2...2:00am at dennys. "ladies...sit with us!" we passed some young boys as we were taken to our table. We've never been hit on so much in such a short period of time. Was it the dresses? Still not sure. Jen had finished her hashbrowns and I ate about 75% of my mushroom burger and onion rings. We were there close to an hour...the time went by fast, we were having alot of fun. part 3? AMFs at jens. into our signature jumbo fiesta del taco cups. she almost filled it to the top. She is getting better and better at her bartending skills. Don Juan De Marco was our movie choice tonight. Buzzin it tired in jens comfy pillow top bed, i slowly grow more and more weary. She had drank a great deal and i guess she just tends to talk alot if she is in bed , chillin. if it were at a bar/lounge or show, she would dance alot. but wasnt a bar this time. Don Juan made me hot and bothered and made me more jealous seeing Depp with more gals. This role for him wasnt a crazy character but a very intimate one, it made me daze and gaze, i became sleepy. We fell asleep with the movie playin at 5:00am ...i woke up at 1030am to tengo jumpin on my tummy and his scratchy tongue on my face. I felt healthy and well rested. Its gotta be the bed!
Jen's mom had made us breakfast. It was very tasty! She is so sweet and really fun to talk to. I headed out around 1230pm and hit traffic as soon as i got on the freeway. Took about an hour and some minutes to make it back. I dont mind traffic in la, i feel safer not going 70 miles but 5 instead and that everyone around me is going through the same thing. brake, gas, brake. i didnt mind...
130pm arrival time. i see my "im with coco" tee have arrived in the mail. Spent some time with my sisters and phone time with him...hit the shower. and off to work i went. work on saturdays were chill and also the last day til my 2 day off week. I was surprised how much i could do in 24 hours. I can definitely do this again and again. anyone down?
Little did we know what was going to happen there. A guido walked up to jen and i before we even got in and asked where we were from. "la and oc" we answered and he escorted us in. Got quite a stare down, not sure if it was just because her and i had dresses on or because everyone was drunk and horny? not sure. "you girls look very beautiful tonight? are you sisters? twins?"..."what ethnicity are you?? filipino? i love filipinos!" "you girls have boyfriends?" it just didnt end. some snookie wannabes and guidos here and there. including one of our good friends which was most of jen and my amusment. We missed the photoshoot but caught cupid in his cute outfit. big ups to him. Last call happened 25mins into being there, fist-pumping started getting heavy and serious. I had a jd and coke and jen kept it classy with vodka, two that is. Short but sweet we described our party experience that night. part 2...2:00am at dennys. "ladies...sit with us!" we passed some young boys as we were taken to our table. We've never been hit on so much in such a short period of time. Was it the dresses? Still not sure. Jen had finished her hashbrowns and I ate about 75% of my mushroom burger and onion rings. We were there close to an hour...the time went by fast, we were having alot of fun. part 3? AMFs at jens. into our signature jumbo fiesta del taco cups. she almost filled it to the top. She is getting better and better at her bartending skills. Don Juan De Marco was our movie choice tonight. Buzzin it tired in jens comfy pillow top bed, i slowly grow more and more weary. She had drank a great deal and i guess she just tends to talk alot if she is in bed , chillin. if it were at a bar/lounge or show, she would dance alot. but wasnt a bar this time. Don Juan made me hot and bothered and made me more jealous seeing Depp with more gals. This role for him wasnt a crazy character but a very intimate one, it made me daze and gaze, i became sleepy. We fell asleep with the movie playin at 5:00am ...i woke up at 1030am to tengo jumpin on my tummy and his scratchy tongue on my face. I felt healthy and well rested. Its gotta be the bed!
Jen's mom had made us breakfast. It was very tasty! She is so sweet and really fun to talk to. I headed out around 1230pm and hit traffic as soon as i got on the freeway. Took about an hour and some minutes to make it back. I dont mind traffic in la, i feel safer not going 70 miles but 5 instead and that everyone around me is going through the same thing. brake, gas, brake. i didnt mind...
130pm arrival time. i see my "im with coco" tee have arrived in the mail. Spent some time with my sisters and phone time with him...hit the shower. and off to work i went. work on saturdays were chill and also the last day til my 2 day off week. I was surprised how much i could do in 24 hours. I can definitely do this again and again. anyone down?
Thursday, February 11, 2010
loco for pollo
Started the day doing my taxes. finished them and was very satisfied with the outcome. Last's years refund went to an overdraft. Thank you Jamba Juice.
I had lunch with my older and younger sister and her friend stef at Zanco's, which we all devoured. Gotta love the chicken wraps and hummus dip. Popular lunch joint.
Anything with chicken, i usually like. Minus chicken sandwhiches..
Rushed soon after to work. I took a wrap to go, so i ate more chicken later that day.
tweet tweet.
I had lunch with my older and younger sister and her friend stef at Zanco's, which we all devoured. Gotta love the chicken wraps and hummus dip. Popular lunch joint.
Anything with chicken, i usually like. Minus chicken sandwhiches..
Rushed soon after to work. I took a wrap to go, so i ate more chicken later that day.
tweet tweet.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
my day off
We had a little fight, lingering from the last fight we had this past week. From there I didn’t know what to do with him. Whatever I brought up wasn’t a big deal but sometimes i turn things into...big deals and exaggerate it. My bad.
Today is payday the 10th. Chase deposits it in your checking account morning after. Joy.
I hear a knock on the door around 10 am. I was typing my life away on the computer. I went to go answer the door and there wasn't anyone but a small ups box under the small rug which was totally visible. I waited a little to open it. I figured it was from daniel but couldnt figure out what it was. It was 1 pound, very light and i couldnt hear anything when i shook it around. I texted him saying i got the package and am too scared to open it! soon enough i tear it open and there i saw the "little box" he accidently described in a current conversation. The little blue box. Untied the white silk bow and untied the blue pouch only to find a sterling silver necklace engraving "i love you". I was very excited and laughing hesterically. He called and asked if i liked it. he said he knew i would. And i did. I loved it. I told him that i would wear it all the time and that i will cherish it forever. It was a very special gift to me. I almost thought it was a ring...
Today is payday the 10th. Chase deposits it in your checking account morning after. Joy.
I hear a knock on the door around 10 am. I was typing my life away on the computer. I went to go answer the door and there wasn't anyone but a small ups box under the small rug which was totally visible. I waited a little to open it. I figured it was from daniel but couldnt figure out what it was. It was 1 pound, very light and i couldnt hear anything when i shook it around. I texted him saying i got the package and am too scared to open it! soon enough i tear it open and there i saw the "little box" he accidently described in a current conversation. The little blue box. Untied the white silk bow and untied the blue pouch only to find a sterling silver necklace engraving "i love you". I was very excited and laughing hesterically. He called and asked if i liked it. he said he knew i would. And i did. I loved it. I told him that i would wear it all the time and that i will cherish it forever. It was a very special gift to me. I almost thought it was a ring...
Sunday, February 7, 2010
day 1?
Today we visited my sister’s church over in Glendale. We have some old family friends who also attend. They always make us feel very welcome when we come.
There was talk about going to Disneyland right after but I realized that I was broke and could not go with the pack of wolves. I ended up going home and debating whether I should hang out with jen and get some tension off my mind. I soon decided that I wanted to go to jen’s house and have couple of drinks.
I got there around 4ishpm. There I met her tengo and her parents. I drowned out my thoughts and feelings of the situation that I have been in and didn’t become sorrowful but very disappointed. We headed out to the store to buy some ingredients for a drink we consumed a few nights before. The amf. We walked to the register lookin like total alcoholics holdin Bacardi, Vodka, Gin…the works. Soon enough, Jen showed me her bartending skills and I was very impressed. She eyed every measurement and made a very, not only tasty but very strong amf…
We sat there for about 2 and half hours not thinking about the time. That I love, not having to be in a rush but just relaxing in one place. I had to get my dance on, so jen put on some GaGa and we fist pumped and played the baby grand with one leg on the fine instrument, just like gaga. HAHA.
Turns out there was going to be a Terror show happening at Chain tonight and figured that that’s where we will end our night…we dressed somewhat alike and had mom take a pic of us as guidas. Had too much fun getting ready so headed out to chain around 8ish.
There we hung out with our dear friends and saw some familiar faces. It was a cold, foggy night in Orange County tonight, but it didn’t stop us from hanging outside in cali! The show was sold out and full of a lot of unfamiliar faces as well. We were on time for Terror and watched from the sound room where we had a “mini-mosh” sesh. I also starting thinking about my situation that wouldn’t stop coming up in my mind, esp with Terror in front of me. It brought me back to 05 august, the first time I saw them, him!
It was a good set, they play great live and always put on a good show. “I want everyone in this room to come up, and dive, dive, stAGE DIVES, I want stage dives! From you! You! You! You! You!” haha
A fight outside later broke out…I love terror shows…
It was a good night, but I still had things on my mind. You can’t really forget but you can forgive…
There was talk about going to Disneyland right after but I realized that I was broke and could not go with the pack of wolves. I ended up going home and debating whether I should hang out with jen and get some tension off my mind. I soon decided that I wanted to go to jen’s house and have couple of drinks.
I got there around 4ishpm. There I met her tengo and her parents. I drowned out my thoughts and feelings of the situation that I have been in and didn’t become sorrowful but very disappointed. We headed out to the store to buy some ingredients for a drink we consumed a few nights before. The amf. We walked to the register lookin like total alcoholics holdin Bacardi, Vodka, Gin…the works. Soon enough, Jen showed me her bartending skills and I was very impressed. She eyed every measurement and made a very, not only tasty but very strong amf…
We sat there for about 2 and half hours not thinking about the time. That I love, not having to be in a rush but just relaxing in one place. I had to get my dance on, so jen put on some GaGa and we fist pumped and played the baby grand with one leg on the fine instrument, just like gaga. HAHA.
Turns out there was going to be a Terror show happening at Chain tonight and figured that that’s where we will end our night…we dressed somewhat alike and had mom take a pic of us as guidas. Had too much fun getting ready so headed out to chain around 8ish.
There we hung out with our dear friends and saw some familiar faces. It was a cold, foggy night in Orange County tonight, but it didn’t stop us from hanging outside in cali! The show was sold out and full of a lot of unfamiliar faces as well. We were on time for Terror and watched from the sound room where we had a “mini-mosh” sesh. I also starting thinking about my situation that wouldn’t stop coming up in my mind, esp with Terror in front of me. It brought me back to 05 august, the first time I saw them, him!
It was a good set, they play great live and always put on a good show. “I want everyone in this room to come up, and dive, dive, stAGE DIVES, I want stage dives! From you! You! You! You! You!” haha
A fight outside later broke out…I love terror shows…
It was a good night, but I still had things on my mind. You can’t really forget but you can forgive…
Saturday, February 6, 2010
trying times
quite a stressful and heart breaking day. I couldnt believe the words and things being said and done. I dont know where to go from here. Work dragged and i want to go home but i cant. I dont know how i am going to make it through the night.
life happens
I was emotionally and physically I feel very exhausted:(. I had a long day..night. I didn’t know how to end it other than watching a depp movie. Edward Scissor Hands was my choice.*sigh.
(cont)
woke up at 9am. I had a memorial service to attend 10 minutes from me. In my hometown of Echo Park at the Temple. It started at 10am, i asked my sister and her friend stefanie to accompany me, for i didnt want to attend myself. This person was like a grandma to me, she was one of my sweetest patients and her family and daughter especially is just so sweet and loving towards her mother, she cared so much for her in her last days, it made me think of my own mother and how much i loved her. It was a week til Valentines day, a day that i say just helps us to remember to love one another no matter what and this was a hard and emotional week for the Cruz Family. The grandchildren played songs on guitar, including "You are my sunshine" which brought me to tears, i don tknow why. He said she would always sing this to him. I miss my grandmother dearly and really want to see her as soon as possible. It was a beautiful service and a day of celebration for she is no longer suffering and with the Lord! praise god.
11:52am
Took the girls to Portos with me today to have some lunch. I told them at this restaurant, you will see a bunch of ladies with their designer purses, flashy sunglasses and uggs on. And it was true! Total evidence everywhere. We saw some crazy fashion going on.
Portos is an international bakery and restaurant. It is my favorite bakery to pick up some pastries and have it on an average of 2-4 times a month. I picked up some fruit tarts for the family, a red velvet cheesecake I later surprised Stef with for her birthday and a cheesecake for myself. The girls loved their sandwhiches and I enjoyed a lechon sandwhich which I devoured. Going around lunch is quite a dare and challenge to find a table to eat on. But we were lucky enough to get a table soon enough to wait with. The people who work there are very nice and helpful. They must be paid well.
(cont)
woke up at 9am. I had a memorial service to attend 10 minutes from me. In my hometown of Echo Park at the Temple. It started at 10am, i asked my sister and her friend stefanie to accompany me, for i didnt want to attend myself. This person was like a grandma to me, she was one of my sweetest patients and her family and daughter especially is just so sweet and loving towards her mother, she cared so much for her in her last days, it made me think of my own mother and how much i loved her. It was a week til Valentines day, a day that i say just helps us to remember to love one another no matter what and this was a hard and emotional week for the Cruz Family. The grandchildren played songs on guitar, including "You are my sunshine" which brought me to tears, i don tknow why. He said she would always sing this to him. I miss my grandmother dearly and really want to see her as soon as possible. It was a beautiful service and a day of celebration for she is no longer suffering and with the Lord! praise god.
11:52am
Took the girls to Portos with me today to have some lunch. I told them at this restaurant, you will see a bunch of ladies with their designer purses, flashy sunglasses and uggs on. And it was true! Total evidence everywhere. We saw some crazy fashion going on.
Portos is an international bakery and restaurant. It is my favorite bakery to pick up some pastries and have it on an average of 2-4 times a month. I picked up some fruit tarts for the family, a red velvet cheesecake I later surprised Stef with for her birthday and a cheesecake for myself. The girls loved their sandwhiches and I enjoyed a lechon sandwhich which I devoured. Going around lunch is quite a dare and challenge to find a table to eat on. But we were lucky enough to get a table soon enough to wait with. The people who work there are very nice and helpful. They must be paid well.
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